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Eidolon, Gojyo, PG

Title: Eidolon
Author: Devera
Rating: PG
Warnings: Character death? Alternate timeline.
A/N: Prompt #7– Ghosts. Words: 654, time: 40 (5 minutes over). Are postings for this challenge closed now? I wasn't sure...

It's stupid, ridiculous. He's a big, tough guy. But even he knows his smile is strained at the end of every evening in town.

"Going home, 'jyo?" Yu asks, and Gojyo could slap that sly grin off his face pretty easily actually.

"Yeah, baby," he jokes, and his return smile is mean. "Wanna come with?"

Funny how quick Yu is to decline, no matter how much he likes a bit of cock from time to time.

"Didn't think so," Gojyo agrees, pausing by the table to finish up his beer. "Well, if you don't see me tomorrow, you'll know what happened."

He says that every time, of course, and nothing's happened yet. Gojyo would really like to keep it that way too, and he'd never thought he'd be the kind of guy to believe in such shit, but it's kind of hard to deny the evidence of his own eyes. The world's gone crazy anyway; youkai turned mad, humans turned worse. Sometimes Gojyo has to just shut himself in and hope that it'll all go away.

Except it doesn't. Nothing ever does. He should know that better than anyone. Wrong choices, bad moves, things he should have done and never did. At least the road home is clear, straight out of town under the too bright glow of the full moon, half an hour to his shitty little hole of a home and he wonders why he keeps bothering. And maybe, if he was honest with himself, he wouldn't, if it wasn't for that little zing of anticipation, of fear, of electric change in the air that he can never quite grasp, ten minutes away from his front door.

It doesn't happen every time, although he always looks for it. It probably won't even happen tonight, he thinks, even while he's slowing down, taking his time, lighting up another cigarette with hands that tremble just slightly. Sometimes it's on the road, appearing almost right under his feet so that he jerks, swears, stumbles to a halt; the pale skin, the slick darkness, the head turning just slightly towards him - that fucking smile that he doesn't honestly remember seeing the first time.

Sometimes it's out of the trees, stumbling and falling and crawling and Gojyo forces himself to stop on those occasions, to witness it's desperate progress. He's long since given up that it'll make a difference, but at least he's worked out from the direction it comes from who it is, what happened.

But that's not all it does. Sometimes it doesn't do anything, and actually that's what's worse; when it's just standing there, staring at him, mute and deathly pale and somehow lost, accusing.

Just like it is right now mother of fuck!

Gojyo's heart leaps in his chest, and suddenly he can't move. It's right there, standing right there by the side of the road and fuck it's so familiar now Gojyo feels like he almost knows it. He stares, stares right back, and something's closing up his throat, squeezing his lungs; he thinks it might be remorse.

"I'm sorry, alright!" he grinds out suddenly and he's never actually said it before, despite the thousand times he's thought it. "I'm fucking sorry! I was drunk! Fuck, just- Why the fuck do you keep coming here?!" And when it just keeps staring, like it can fucking see him, he almost can't stand it anymore. "I thought you were fucking dead!"

But the thing is, it was; Gojyo's pretty sure the guy was.

Not every night, but most nights. Right here, ten minutes from his house. He'll never forget it, the guy lying across the road, his guts spilled all over.

And Gojyo will never forget how he walked on, because he keeps doing it - not every night, but most nights. Now.

Ghosts, Gojyo decides, as he does the only thing he can do and turns his back and continues on for home, aren't the only things that are trapped.


( 26 comments — leave a comment )
May. 9th, 2008 01:35 am (UTC)
Oh, ow. And very creepy.

I like this unusual mix of terribly sad and terrifying. I'm so glad it didn't turn out this way for them, but if it had... yeah. I can really see it being like this. *shiver*
May. 9th, 2008 03:59 am (UTC)
Thanks. I think I was unduly influenced by recent episodes of a certain tv show - ghosts are always sad to me...
May. 9th, 2008 02:33 am (UTC)
Oh. Oh, did that hurt to read. Nice job.
May. 9th, 2008 04:00 am (UTC)
Thanks very much!
May. 9th, 2008 03:44 am (UTC)
That was...wow. A very, very interesting take on the prompt, and a very haunting what-if scenario. The scary thing is, I could see this happening.

It gave me chills and I almost felt bad for Gojyo, but when I realized who the ghost was, I felt even worse for Hakkai.

Very nice, albeit a little unsettling. But, I suppose that was the point. ^__~
May. 9th, 2008 04:00 am (UTC)
That was the point! Thanks! Glad you liked it!
May. 9th, 2008 03:46 am (UTC)
I've been trying to leave feedback for several minutes now, but don't even know what I can say about this other than it just blew me the hell away. THANK YOU.
May. 9th, 2008 04:01 am (UTC)
You're welcome. I'm really glad it had such an impact on you.
May. 9th, 2008 07:04 am (UTC)
Oh my, that breaks my little 58 loving heart. Very well done though =)
May. 9th, 2008 09:19 am (UTC)
Thankyou. I'm glad you liked it.
(Deleted comment)
May. 9th, 2008 09:20 am (UTC)
Thanks! I'm really glad you thought so
May. 9th, 2008 11:37 am (UTC)

Oh, that hurt. Such desolation. And Gojyo actually wanting to see the spectre, just because it'd be a break from the emptiness ... .

Very effective!

May. 9th, 2008 10:29 pm (UTC)
Thanks! Yeah, I think I really could have gone further with that aspect, given more time.
May. 9th, 2008 12:25 pm (UTC)
Dude, that's the creepiest 'what if it didn't go that way' fic for Saiyuki I think I've ever read!!! I love the idea that Gonou would keep reappearing to the one guy who could have saved him. Awesome fic!
May. 9th, 2008 10:30 pm (UTC)
Thanks heaps! I really like the occasional 'what if' - they really highlight how chancey life can be!
May. 15th, 2008 01:18 pm (UTC)
Never a truer word spoken!!
May. 9th, 2008 02:42 pm (UTC)
Wow that was good. And painful. I agree with chomiji — Gojyo's anticipation is just so deeply tragic.
May. 9th, 2008 10:34 pm (UTC)
Thankyou! I think I wanted Gojyo at some kind of breaking point here, so I wonder what he'll do now...?
May. 9th, 2008 02:57 pm (UTC)
Oh, that was completely gutting (no pun intended), in the best way.
May. 9th, 2008 02:59 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you posted this, because it was awesome. Generally we'd like people to stick to the cut off date-- the new challenge was posted on Wednesday-- but the odd one or two is no big deal.
May. 9th, 2008 10:23 pm (UTC)
Oh I thought that might be the case. Cool. I'll remember, and won't make a habit of doing this, I promise.
May. 9th, 2008 10:35 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Lou!
May. 9th, 2008 09:03 pm (UTC)
Oh wow. This was fantastic. Really wrenching and visceral, and a very scary bit of 'what might have been'. Love it.
May. 9th, 2008 10:39 pm (UTC)
Thanks! Poor Gojyo though; one mistake and he never hears the end of it! ;)
May. 10th, 2008 02:34 am (UTC)
May. 12th, 2008 12:22 am (UTC)
Thanks! That's what I was aiming for!
( 26 comments — leave a comment )


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